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THE ABSOLUTE BEST SONG IN THE WORLD: (TERRI CLARK-I THINK THE WORLD NEEDS A DRINK)

Turned on the TV
More crime in the streets
More trouble in the middle east
And fires out west

Politicians flingin dirt
Got decension in the church
Another law suit in the works
Man you talk about a mess

Too much tension between miss liberty and The eiffel tower
It's about time we all made up at some big Happy hour

I think the world needs a drink
I think enoughs enough
She's been spinnin around so long i'd say She's pretty wound up
Calm down, Sit back, Relax
Tear up the contracts and save the ink
Yeah I think the world needs a drink

I bet we'd get somethin done
Over 2 for ones
Rubbin elbows with the big guns
Wouldn't that be cool

Call all the rich and the poor
The peace keepers and the warlords
We'll cut some deals over nothing more
Than a shot of 90 proof

There ain't nothin wrong a few cold beers Can't iron out
In fact you tell me just when and where and I'll buy the first round

I think the world needs a drink
I think enoughs enough
She's been spinnin around so long i'd say She's pretty wound up
Let's all calm down sit back relax
Tear up the contracts and save the ink
Yeah i think the world needs a drink

Hey let's all calm down, sit back, relax
Tear up the contracts and save the ink
Yeah i think the world needs a drink
Dont you think the world needs a couple Drinks

I know I do
Yeah that's Right









my real name is audrey ranchelle.

i hate clocks. thats why i'm never on time. if i were on time, i would look like a hypocrite.

when he watches tv, he puts one hand under his right leg and the other on the remote. its always on the volume button, i dont know why. he's silent. not that that matters...

hey, im allie.
nice to meet you, wait whats your name again?
nelly.
oh, cool name. how do you spell that?
J-E-R-R-E-Y
oh okay.

you eat WHAT for breakfast? my uncle michael doesnt even eat that much and hes like freaking 120 pounds!! do you want to do a craft?

>what is a screwdriver?
<this thing. its like a hammer for nails. only theyre screws.
>ohhhhhh (20 seconds later)...i meant the drink
<ohhhhhh. probably the same thing.

one time.........your mom did the whole band camp
(huge props for austin or cameron, can't remember)

your mom is like home depot. 5 cents for nails and 10 cents for screws.
(cameron is such a pimp!)

walnuts...mmmm....theyre almost like alcohol...

smiles a lot. what the h**l is smiles a lot?
ladies, please! im tryin to talk!
sorry. erin just wrote the stupidest poem i have ever read

>yeah, i guess i notice if girls are hot or not. im not a lesbian, i just have special powers that are called eyes and i can tell if someone is pretty or not. does that make me a lesbian?
<sure.
>okay, haha, i guess it does!
(high five)

>so...what to talk about? im a big fan.
<of what?
>oh i dont know, fill in the blank.
<porn star?
>eh, i was thinkin more on the lines of tom cruise or swiss cheese. but yours is good too.

KYLE: baseball is going fine. i mean there is this kid on my team who hates me i think. i could take him. i mean, hes a little taller than me, but i could take him. he hits like a girl.
SARAH: why do people always use that as a dis?
KYLE: maybe cuz girls suck at everything
THE COOLEST PERSON EVER: so youre an exception?

david: theyre role-playing. they pretend they are someone in a game and tell what they do.
me: so thats like phone sex for geeks?

'Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo",
Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo",
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,
And that's how we get hamburgers.
Nowwwww chickens!'

'Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.'

'Gosh, I don't think that I've ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I've got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze and I've got a KILLER rack. Good morning!'

'Now grandma's a person who everyone likes,
She brought you a train and a bright shiny bike.
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner,
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,
But the truth is she died and someday you will too.
La-la-la-la-la...'

'To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.'


'Children, I couldn't help monitoring your conversation. There's no mystery about Willy. Why, he simply disappeared. Now, let's have no more curiosity about this bizarre cover-up.'


'Welcome home, son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail. What's wrong with your wife?'
'Never mind, you wouldn't understand.'
'Flu?'
'No.'
'Protein deficiency?'
'No.'
'Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?'

'All right, you scrawny beanpoles: becoming a cop is not something that happens overnight. It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge.'
'Forget about the badge! When do we get the freakin' guns?!'
'Hey, I told you, you don't get your gun until you tell me your name.'
'I've had it up to here with your 'rules'!'

'As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade.'
'And if you don't, at least you'll be bigger than the other kids.'

'Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?'

'They think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants.'

'...more and more of our imports are coming from overseas.'

'There is no doubt in my mind that this country cannot achieve any objective we put our mind to.'

'There are a couple of cows waiting for me. You know, when I first got back from Washington, it seemed like the cows were talking back. But now that I've spent some time in Crawford, they're just cows.'


did you eat salami today? no, did you wash your face with ugly soap?


'Good Lord. I can't believe I'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me?'

'Six months ago, I was living in Boston. My wife had left me, which was very painful. Then she came back to me, which was excruciating. On top of that, my practice had grown stagnant, and my social life consisted of hanging around a bar night after night. You see, I was clinging to a life that wasn't working, and I knew I had to do something, anything. So I ended the marriage once and for all, packed up my things, and moved back here to my hometown of Seattle. Go Seahawks!'

'If you want to know if a man is cheating, you offer him two choices for dinner. One that's rich and fattening, and one that's light and sensible. If he picks the one that's calorie-packed, he doesn't mind turning into a bloated pig, which means he's happily married and you're in the clear. If he picks the diet plate, it means he's staying in shape for his main squeeze, and you should get yourself a lawyer who can sue the sweat off a racehorse.'

'Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.'
Brooke Shields

'I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.'
Britney Spears

'I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness.'
Alicia Silverstone




I guess everyone earns (or loses) cool points in their own way.